Opting for arranged vs. love marriage is a matter of debate in India. For a marriage to succeed it hardly matters how couple tied the knot. But in India, controversies are galore because most of our parents are still tied to conservatism and the present generation is independent and future conscious. We often come across cases of disagreements when it comes to whom to tie a knot with, a person found and approved by your parents or somebody that you have found yourself.
Now we all understand the importance of the institution of marriage, therefore, I find this topic quite intriguing and fun to make a comparison between love and arranged marriage! There are ample amount of quotes and poems on the internet that can give you a fair idea of what love is (in case you don’t know [:-D]) but that’s not what we are talking here. We are trying to understand which one is better and why.
LOVE MARRIAGE – (perceived and practical problems people in love face)
Ill- thought out
A majority of people in a love relationship find it extremely difficult to make their parents understand that their love is not a temporary infatuation or merely physical attraction.
They often get criticized for getting into an ill thought out a relationship which should end with immediate effect. But is that true all the time, I guess not! First of all don’t hurry to get into a relationship, take your time observing the person you want a relationship with and when all the brainstorming has happened, go for it. Second important thing is to be absolutely sure about your decision and owning it. It will be easier to make a point then to your family and friends.
Unlike any other country in the world, India has a buffet of caste, religion, and cultures. And many a time these become bone of contention. Now, you have to have a broad mind in order to leap over these barriers.
Narrow mindedness, psychological inhibitions, rigid attitude are a few other problems that need to be rectified or at least minimized to a reasonable level.
Uncertainty about the true character of a person can also be a matter of great concern. We are not what we project ourselves to be all the time and same applies to the rest of the world. So what if someone is not what you presume him/her to be?
Because bad people are real, falling for one can devastate your life
Assuming that our generation is far more aware than the previous ones, they can make better decisions regarding their lives. Finding a soul mate all by oneself can result in a sense of freedom and maturity. I think all this can possibly make one embrace the marriage with greater joy and happiness.
One likely consequence of an arranged set up may be differences in likes/preferences/personalities. And people having this kind of a setup don’t get enough opportunity to talk sufficiently with their future partners most often.
Now, if u are someone going in for a relationship conceptualized by your parents then do make sure to talk openly and to a point where both of you achieve a level of understanding and ease amongst yourselves.
Majority of Indian parents perceive it as a duty to find a suitor for their son/daughter. And you cannot fight them on this one. I have seen people who are in romantic relationships but never had the courage to speak up in front of their parents, ended up having screwed lives.
A word of advice for similar kinds, please don’t get involved with someone and spoil their lives. You don’t have any right to do so. Either stand firm for what you have decided on or don’t begin it at all.
Find love even if it is all arranged
Like two sides of a coin, arranged marriages can be successful too. All you have to do is give the other person a chance. Accept them with their flaws.
Whatever be the case, it is essential that there should be love in any form of marriage. It just depends on how you perceive and act. Like it is said…”It is all in mind”. Even love can change over time and an arranged marriage can be a perfect one.
There are no rules and making marriage a success is very subjective depending on the individual. If you still have not found the right partner, do not get confused, wait and let all the thoughts get aligned, make a move only when you are 100% sure. Be wise and listen to the beats of heart.❣️
Verse of Kahlil Gibran aptly sums up the success of a relationship irrespective of the mode.
‘Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it be rather a moving sea between the shores of your souls.’